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The '70/30 Rule' for parenting

The '70/30 Rule' for parenting

Since our kids don't come with a handbook, I've always taken it upon myself to try to learn more about different parenting techniques by reading books, blogs, articles and even attending lectures by authorities whose teachings I've grown to respect. Some might argue that parenting is instinctual and that you don't need to be taught by a book or read about how to be a parent. I would agree that some aspects of parenting come naturally, for instance, the instinct to protect your child. However, many of the skills we need as parents we learn from what our own parents did or simply through trial and error. While practice and experience definitely help us improve our skills as parents, I find that exploring different perspectives has been a good way to learn invaluable pieces of information for my own family. One of the most treasured pieces of advice I got was from a parenting class I took when my children were young. Even to this day, it still helps me to be a better parent!

The '70/30 Rule' is that irreplaceable advice and it's some of the best I've ever received. I learned this rule from Julie Ross, the Executive Director of Parenting Horizons, an organization devoted to enriching children's lives through parent and teacher education, when I attended her parenting class in NYC. This rule is the understanding that you always strive to be a great parent 100% of the time. However, if you can say that you get it "right" 70% of the time, you also realize that 30% of the time may not be your best parenting moments.

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Whether it's yelling, losing my patience or sending my kids to school without hats in 14 degree weather, these are the times that would fall into that 30% bucket where I'd like a do-over. Sure, we all want to be perfect, especially when it comes to parenting, but this rule allows parents to realize they're still human and we all make mistakes.

Of course, I always strive for 100% and I would expect most parents to do so as well. However, the 70/30 rule allows me to not be too hard on myself, get all-too-caught-up on my past mistakes and allows me to finish up the hour/day/week knowing that I'm being a great mom most of the time.

What's one parenting tip you've learned along the way that has been an invaluable piece of advice? I'd love to hear it! // <![CDATA[ (function() { var _fbq = window._fbq || (window._fbq = []); if (!_fbq.loaded) { var fbds = document.createElement('script'); fbds.async = true; fbds.src = '//connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbds.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(fbds, s); _fbq.loaded = true; } })(); window._fbq = window._fbq || []; window._fbq.push(['track', '6022244493474', {'value':'0.00','currency':'USD'}]); // ]]</p></div>

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